VICTIM OR VICTOR? WHICH ONE ARE YOU?

by Dr. MaryAnn Diorio, Your Virtual Life Coach

“Guard your heart above all else,
for it determines the course of your life.” ~ Proverbs 4: 23

Victim or Victor. Both words begin with the same four letters, but they are complete opposites in definition. Which one are you?

Let’s take a look at some of the characteristics of each. See where you fit in.

VICTIMS:

believe they have little or no control over their lives. They are swept along by the desires of others and refuse to take responsibility for their lives. They often don’t know how to say no.

—think that their past equals their future. They feel condemned and controlled by what happened to them and hopeless that things will ever change.

are ruled by their circumstances. Victims feel powerless to do anything about their circumstances and, hence, succumb to them.

VICTORS:

believe that they alone are responsible for their lives. They do not allow others to control their lives. They “own” their lives and take charge of them under the leadership of the Holy Spirit.

know that their past does not equal their future. They feel empowered to make those choices that will create for them the kind of life they want to live. They believe that they have a free will that can change things.

are not ruled by their circumstances. Instead, they rule over their circumstances by the pro-active way in which they respond to their circumstances.

So, which one are you?  Victim or Victor?

“You are a victor to the degree to which you take charge of your life.”
                                                                         ~ Dr. MaryAnn Diorio

If you discovered that you are a victim, you can change. If you discovered that you are a victor, keep doing what you’re doing. But if, like most of us, you found yourself somewhere in-between, take heart.  God is still working on us. The fact that we are still on this earth means that God has not finished with us yet.

So, be encouraged. It is only by His power that we can be set free from a victim mentality and develop a victor mentality. Ask the Lord to help you see where your thinking is wrong and to change it. Depend on Him to help you break free of the chains of victimization and to walk in the freedom He died to give you.

In their pivotal book, It’s Not My Fault, Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend make a critically important statement: “You can be free from whatever situation surrounds you to the degree that you are willing to take responsibility and ownership for it, even it it’s not your fault.” 

So, whether you are a victim or a victor depends on whether or not you choose to take full responsibility for your life–in other words, whether or not you choose to “own” your life.

Make that choice now! Choose to be a victor by taking responsbility for your thoughts, your words, and your actions. As you do, you will discover more and more that you are gaining victory over your life instead of being a victim of it.

Now, it’s YOUR turn:  Are you a victim or a victor? How can you tell? Please leave your response in the Comment Box below. Thank you!

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Don’t miss my 3-minute podcast below that accompanies this post : Are You a Victim or a Victor?


If you found this post helpful, please forward it to a friend. Thank you! Check our archives in the right sidebar for older posts on a variety of topics. You may also search for a particular topic in the search box at the top right. Some of our most popular posts are:

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Are You Playing the Blame Game?

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Matters of the Heart is a weekly blog that deals with the deepest issues of the human heart, the issues we all face but sometimes don’t want to talk about. The heart is the programming center of our lives. What is programmed into our heart will affect every area of our lives. Learn how to discover what is in your heart and how to program your heart for success.

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2 thoughts on “VICTIM OR VICTOR? WHICH ONE ARE YOU?

  1. This is a great post, again, dear MaryAnn, and one that made me pause. I am working through this issue right now; I can see myself easily between the two: victim/victor despite the logic of the definition of victor. I believe it is a constant challenge and one that needs the help of God and the Holy Spirit. I loved this!