VICTIM OR VICTOR? WHICH ONE ARE YOU?

by Dr. MaryAnn Diorio, Your Virtual Life Coach

“Guard your heart above all else,
for it determines the course of your life.” ~ Proverbs 4: 23

Victim or Victor. Both words begin with the same four letters, but they are complete opposites in definition. Which one are you?

Let’s take a look at some of the characteristics of each. See where you fit in.

VICTIMS:

believe they have little or no control over their lives. They are swept along by the desires of others and refuse to take responsibility for their lives. They often don’t know how to say no.

—think that their past equals their future. They feel condemned and controlled by what happened to them and hopeless that things will ever change.

are ruled by their circumstances. Victims feel powerless to do anything about their circumstances and, hence, succumb to them.

VICTORS:

believe that they alone are responsible for their lives. They do not allow others to control their lives. They “own” their lives and take charge of them under the leadership of the Holy Spirit.

know that their past does not equal their future. They feel empowered to make those choices that will create for them the kind of life they want to live. They believe that they have a free will that can change things.

are not ruled by their circumstances. Instead, they rule over their circumstances by the pro-active way in which they respond to their circumstances.

So, which one are you?  Victim or Victor?

“You are a victor to the degree to which you take charge of your life.”
                                                                         ~ Dr. MaryAnn Diorio

If you discovered that you are a victim, you can change. If you discovered that you are a victor, keep doing what you’re doing. But if, like most of us, you found yourself somewhere in-between, take heart.  God is still working on us. The fact that we are still on this earth means that God has not finished with us yet.

So, be encouraged. It is only by His power that we can be set free from a victim mentality and develop a victor mentality. Ask the Lord to help you see where your thinking is wrong and to change it. Depend on Him to help you break free of the chains of victimization and to walk in the freedom He died to give you.

In their pivotal book, It’s Not My Fault, Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend make a critically important statement: “You can be free from whatever situation surrounds you to the degree that you are willing to take responsibility and ownership for it, even it it’s not your fault.” 

So, whether you are a victim or a victor depends on whether or not you choose to take full responsibility for your life–in other words, whether or not you choose to “own” your life.

Make that choice now! Choose to be a victor by taking responsbility for your thoughts, your words, and your actions. As you do, you will discover more and more that you are gaining victory over your life instead of being a victim of it.

Now, it’s YOUR turn:  Are you a victim or a victor? How can you tell? Please leave your response in the Comment Box below. Thank you!

TWEETABLE:  “Victim or Victor: Which One Are You?” by Dr. MaryAnn Diorio (Click to Tweet)

Don’t miss my 3-minute podcast below that accompanies this post : Are You a Victim or a Victor?


If you found this post helpful, please forward it to a friend. Thank you! Check our archives in the right sidebar for older posts on a variety of topics. You may also search for a particular topic in the search box at the top right. Some of our most popular posts are:

How to Conquer Stinkin’ Thinkin’

How to Make Change Your Ally

Are You Playing the Blame Game?

Are You a Mess of Stress?

For additional encouragement, check out my podcasts at the following links:

A Moment with MaryAnn – Podcasts on Living the Good Life

Winning with the Word Podcast Series

Write Your Heart Out! – Podcasts for Writers

NOTE: If you are struggling to know your purpose in life, I can help you! As a highly experienced Certified Life Coach, I will help you set priorities in line with your God-given purpose. For more information or to set up a phone appointment, please send me an email at drmaryann@maryanndiorio.com. You’ll be taking a major step toward fulfilling your destiny!

Please tell your family and friends about this blog and please pass this post on to them. Thank you!
_______________________________________________________________

To help you learn about your true identity in Christ, I wrote YOU WERE MADE FOR GREATNESS!. This book will reveal to you the power and authority you have to bring about effective change in your life through Jesus Christ. Get your copy now!

greatness-ebook-cover-072516Learn about your power and authority in the Kingdom of God! Discover who you truly are in Jesus Christ!

YOU WERE MADE FOR GREATNESS! by Dr. MaryAnn Diorio
Kindle

iPad

Nook

Smashwords

AudioBook

Matters of the Heart is a weekly blog that deals with the deepest issues of the human heart, the issues we all face but sometimes don’t want to talk about. The heart is the programming center of our lives. What is programmed into our heart will affect every area of our lives. Learn how to discover what is in your heart and how to program your heart for success.

AN INVITATION TO YOU: To follow this blog via Facebook, click here. If you are not on Facebook or would prefer to subscribe via a different venue, please check the sidebar to the right for subscription options. Thank you!

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Join my Team and get a free copy of my ebook on balancing your life.

________________________________________________________

Copyright 2000-2017 by Dr. MaryAnn Diorio. All Rights Reserved. This article may not be published or printed in any form whatsoever without the written permission of Dr. MaryAnn Diorio. You may contact her at drmaryann@maryanndiorio.com to request permission.

Amazon.com Required Disclosure: MaryAnn Diorio is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to Amazon.com.

Disclaimer: This site uses cookies. Your continued use of this site constitutes your consent to our use of cookies. 

HOW TO CONQUER STINKIN’ THINKIN’

by Dr. MaryAnn Diorio, Your Virtual Life Coach

“Guard your heart above all else,
for it determines the course of your life.” ~ Proverbs 4: 23

Are you a stinkin’ thinker? I used to be. Until, that is, I learned that stinkin’ thinkin’ got me nothing except misery, poor relationships, and failure.

So, what did I do to change? Let me share three Scripture verses that pulled me out of the pit of stinkin’ thinkin’ and put me on the path to happiness, great relationships, and success. As I obeyed these Scripture verses and applied them to my life, they changed me from a negative person to a positive one. They can do the same for you!

Scripture Verse #1: Philippians 4: 8 NLT – “Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise.”

Easier said than done. But doable, indeed! God never gives us a command without also giving us the ability to obey it. As I set my will and my mind to obey this commandment, I began to realize how much my thoughts were fixed on the opposite: the false, the dishonorable, the wrong, the unholy, the ugly, and the least to be admired. I certainly was not thinking of things that were excellent and worthy of praise. No wonder I wasn’t experiencing the abundant life Jesus died to give me.

Scripture Verse #2: 2 Corinthians 10: 5 NIV “We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.”

What are “arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God?” Simply put, they are the lies that the devil throws at us every day. Those lies come in the form of negative thoughts.

Have you ever tried to lasso a negative thought? It resists capture worse than a bucking bronco. Lassoing (or capturing) a negative thought takes a determined and concerted effort on our part. First, we must monitor our thoughts. Then we must lasso those that disagree with God’s Word. Lassoing our thoughts is difficult enough, let alone capturing them. But once we have captured them, we can’t hold on to our prisoners. We  must give those captured thoughts to Jesus in prayer.

One of the best lessons I learned about monitoring and lassoing my thoughts came from the three-year-old son of a friend of mine. My friend walked into her living room one day and discovered her little guy staring out the window in deep thought.

“Matt,” she asked, “what are you thinking about?”

He turned from the window and looked at her. Then, in a pensive voice that defied his three-years of age, he said, “I’m thinking about what I’m thinking about.”

Profound? No question! This little boy, at a very young age, had learned the importance of monitoring this thoughts.

Are you monitoring your thoughts? Do you think about what you’re thinking about? If not, start now. Doing so will vastly improve your life.

 “Whatever things are true, noble, pure, right, lovely, admirable,
excellent, and praiseworthy, think on these things.” – Philippians 4: 8


Scripture Verse #3: Romans 12: 2 NLT
– “Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect.

Talk about an amazing promise! Let’s break it down. First, God tells us not to copy the behavior and customs of this world. This means that the world’s way of doing things will lead to destruction. Then God tells us that He wants to change us into new people. God is in the business of making things new. Would you like some newness in your life?

So, how does God change us into new people? By changing the way we think. Success in life is all in the way we think. As we saturate ourselves with God’s Word, we will discover how He thinks. Then, as we change our thinking to align with His thinking, we will reap a great reward. What is that reward?

Let’s look at the end of the verse to find out. There God says that as we allow Him to change our thinking to conform to His thinking, we will then–and only then–experience what God’s will is for us. Then, and only then, will we experience the wonderful relationship He wants us to have with Him. Then, and only then, will we experience the abundant life Jesus died to give us.

Isn’t obeying these three Scripture verses worth it?   

Most people don’t know that whenever I take one of those temperament tests, I always test out dominant for melancholic.  This means that I have a natural tendency to veer toward the negative in my thinking. So I have to keep constant guard over my thought life. By God’s grace, I have trained myself not only to monitor my thoughts but also to lasso them and give them to Jesus. By changing my thinking to agree with His thinking, I have developed a supernatural tendency to veer toward the positive.

If I, a melancholic by nature, can do it, so can you! 🙂

Now, it’s YOUR turn:  Are you a stinkin’ thinker? If so, what have you done to turn your thinking around? Please leave your response in the Comment Box below. Thank you!

TWEETABLE:  “How to Conquer Stinkin’ Thinkin'” by Dr. MaryAnn Diorio (Click to Tweet)

Check out my 6-minute podcast on this week’s topic below: How to Conquer Stinkin’ Thinkin’


If you found this post helpful, please forward it to a friend. Thank you! Check our archives in the right sidebar for older posts on a variety of topics. You may also search for a particular topic in the search box at the top right. Some of our most popular posts are:

Are You in Bondage to Your Baggage?

How to Make Change Your Ally

Are You Playing the Blame Game?

Are You a Mess of Stress?

For additional encouragement, check out my podcasts at the following links:

A Moment with MaryAnn – Podcasts on Living the Good Life

Winning with the Word Podcast Series

Write Your Heart Out! – Podcasts for Writers

NOTE: If you are struggling to know your purpose in life, I can help you! As a highly experienced Certified Life Coach, I will help you set priorities in line with your God-given purpose. For more information or to set up a phone appointment, please send me an email at drmaryann@maryanndiorio.com. You’ll be taking a major step toward fulfilling your destiny!

Please tell your family and friends about this blog and please pass this post on to them. Thank you!
_______________________________________________________________

To help you learn about your true identity in Christ, I wrote YOU WERE MADE FOR GREATNESS!. This book will reveal to you the power and authority you have to bring about effective change in your life through Jesus Christ. Get your copy now!

greatness-ebook-cover-072516Learn about your power and authority in the Kingdom of God! Discover who you truly are in Jesus Christ!

YOU WERE MADE FOR GREATNESS! by Dr. MaryAnn Diorio
Kindle

iPad

Nook

Smashwords

AudioBook

Matters of the Heart is a weekly blog that deals with the deepest issues of the human heart, the issues we all face but sometimes don’t want to talk about. The heart is the programming center of our lives. What is programmed into our heart will affect every area of our lives. Learn how to discover what is in your heart and how to program your heart for success.

AN INVITATION TO YOU: To follow this blog via Facebook, click here. If you are not on Facebook or would prefer to subscribe via a different venue, please check the sidebar to the right for subscription options. Thank you!

____________________________________________

Join my Team and get a free copy of my ebook on balancing your life.

________________________________________________________

Copyright 2000-2017 by Dr. MaryAnn Diorio. All Rights Reserved. This article may not be published or printed in any form whatsoever without the written permission of Dr. MaryAnn Diorio. You may contact her at drmaryann@maryanndiorio.com to request permission.

Amazon.com Required Disclosure: MaryAnn Diorio is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to Amazon.com.

Disclaimer: This site uses cookies. Your continued use of this site constitutes your consent to our use of cookies. 

ARE YOU IN BONDAGE TO YOUR BAGGAGE?

“Guard your heart above all else,
for it determines the course of your life.” ~ Proverbs 4: 23

Are you in bondage to your baggage? Are you carrying around the excess emotional weight of past hurts, trauma, or abuse? If so, listen up. You can check your baggage at the freedom counter and unload it once and for all!

All of us carry emotional baggage from our past. Whether that baggage resulted from trauma, abuse, or some other family dysfunction, we have to deal with the baggage if we want to live the abundant life Christ died to give us.

A common misconception about baggage is that born-again Christ-Followers do not have baggage. The truth, however, is that all of us have baggage. And that baggage hangs around in the soul.

The first thing to understand is that you are made up of three parts: spirit, soul, and body. Your spirit is your core—who you truly are. Your soul comprises your mind, your will, and your emotions. Your body is what I like to call your “earth suit”.

Emotional baggage is stored in the soul compartment. In other words, it is housed in your feelings, your thinking, and your decision-maker. If not dealt with, emotional baggage has a way of invading your physical body and causing ill health.

So, how can you get rid of emotional baggage? Here are three ways that have worked for me:

1-Do not bury your feelings. Admit them. Being honest with yourself about your negative feelings is the starting point for getting rid of them.

2-Examine your attitudes. Are you guilty of “stinking thinking”? Do you complain and criticize? Do you focus on the negative instead of the positive? Christian motivational speaker Zig Ziglar once said, “Your attitude, not your aptitude, will determine your altitude” in life. So, start thinking the way God thinks. Read Philippians 4: 8.

3-Give your baggage to God. He Himself said “Cast your cares on Me because I care for you.” Moreover, it is Jesus Himself who promises to restore your broken soul from the damage done to it (Psal 23: 3). As you give your baggage to Him, He will clean up and make your soul like new!

So, what are you waiting for? Are you ready to unload your baggage? Are you ready to move forward with your life? With God’s help, you ca let go of your emotional baggage once and for all and begin living the abundant life Jesus died to give you.

The choice is entirely up to you!

 “Your attitude, not your aptitude, will determine your altitude.” ~ Zig Ziglar

Now, it’s YOUR turn:  Are you in bondage to your baggage? If so, what do you plan to do about it? Please leave your response in the Comment Box below. Thank you!

TWEETABLE: “Are You in Bondage to Your Baggage?” by Dr. MaryAnn Diorio (Click to Tweet)

Check out my 3-minute podcast on this week’s topic below: Are You in Bondage to Your Baggage?


If you found this post helpful, please forward it to a friend. Thank you! Check our archives in the right sidebar for older posts on a variety of topics. You may also search for a particular topic in the search box at the top right. Some of our most popular posts are:

How to Make Change Your Ally

Are You Playing the Blame Game?

Are You a Mess of Stress?

For additional encouragement, check out my podcasts at the following links:

A Moment with MaryAnn – Podcasts on Living the Good Life

Winning with the Word Podcast Series

Write Your Heart Out! – Podcasts for Writers

NOTE: If you are struggling to know your purpose in life, I can help you! As a highly experienced Certified Life Coach, I will help you set priorities in line with your God-given purpose. For more information or to set up a phone appointment, please send me an email at drmaryann@maryanndiorio.com. You’ll be taking a major step toward fulfilling your destiny!

Please tell your family and friends about this blog and please pass this post on to them. Thank you!
_______________________________________________________________

To help you learn about your true identity in Christ, I wrote YOU WERE MADE FOR GREATNESS!. This book will reveal to you the power and authority you have to bring about effective change in your life through Jesus Christ. Get your copy now!

greatness-ebook-cover-072516Learn about your power and authority in the Kingdom of God! Discover who you truly are in Jesus Christ!

YOU WERE MADE FOR GREATNESS! by Dr. MaryAnn Diorio
Kindle

iPad

Nook

Smashwords

AudioBook

Matters of the Heart is a weekly blog that deals with the deepest issues of the human heart, the issues we all face but sometimes don’t want to talk about. The heart is the programming center of our lives. What is programmed into our heart will affect every area of our lives. Learn how to discover what is in your heart and how to program your heart for success.

AN INVITATION TO YOU: To follow this blog via Facebook, click here. If you are not on Facebook or would prefer to subscribe via a different venue, please check the sidebar to the right for subscription options. Thank you!

____________________________________________

Join my Team and get a free copy of my ebook on balancing your life.

________________________________________________________

Copyright 2000-2017 by Dr. MaryAnn Diorio. All Rights Reserved. This article may not be published or printed in any form whatsoever without the written permission of Dr. MaryAnn Diorio. You may contact her at drmaryann@maryanndiorio.com to request permission.

Amazon.com Required Disclosure: MaryAnn Diorio is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to Amazon.com.

Disclaimer: This site uses cookies. Your continued use of this site constitutes your consent to our use of cookies. 

ARE YOU PLAYING THE BLAME GAME?

Tips for Taking Control of Your Life

“Guard your heart above all else,
for it determines the course of your life.” ~ Proverbs 4: 23

 ”It’s all your fault!” How often have I heard my grandchildren utter those words to one another! Too many times to count. Yet, while such an accusation may be expected among children, I hear it among too many adults as well. 

So, what is the Blame Game?

The blame game is the act of refusing to take responsibility for one’s own actions and the attempt to place responsibility for one’s actions on someone else.

Let’s take a look at some players of the blame game. You will hear them say things like this:

“The devil made me do it.”

“It’s all my mother’s fault.”

“If only my father had not been an alcoholic, I wouldn’t be one either.”

“If I had not grown up in a dysfunctional family, my life wouldn’t be such a mess.”

“If only I didn’t like potato chips so much, I wouldn’t be overweight.”

All of these statements reveal a failure on the part of those who say such things to take responsibility for their lives.

You see, the truth is this: We alone are responsible for our choices and our actions. While we are not responsible for the choices and actions of those who have harmed us in any way, we ARE responsible for how we respond to the choices and actions of those who have harmed us.

Like many of you, I grew up in what would be described as a dysfunctional home. In fact, I think every home is dysfunctional in some way. As I approached my twenties, I stood in front of the mirror one day and said, “Girl, your past can either break you or make you. Which is it going to be?” Right then and there, I decided and declared aloud that my past was going to make me.

From BLAMER to TAMER

Because God has given you a free will, you can move from blaming others for your choices and actions to taming your choices and actions. How?  By taking responsibility for your choices and actions. By placing them under your control and, in turn, under the control of the Holy Spirit.

It is not what happens to us that matters.
What matters is how we respond to what happens to us.

And God has given you the power to make that right choice.

So use your power to choose. And use it wisely. Don’t let the past dictate your future. Don’t blame others for where you are today. Choose to take responsibility for your choices and your actions.

And remember this: It is not what happens to you that matters; what matters is how you respond to what happens to you. In other words, whether you have had an ideal childhood or you have come from the worst home situation possible doesn’t matter. What matters is that you have the God-given power to make wise choices to create a fulfilling future. Use that power from now on!

Before you leave, I encourage you to leave a comment in the box below and to listen to my 3-minute podcast, Are You Playing the Blame Game?,  from my popular podcast series titled A Moment with MaryAnn:

 

For more of my podcasts check out the following:

Winning with the Word Podcast Series

Write Your Heart Out! – Podcasts for Writers

NOTE: If you are struggling to take responsibility for your life, I can help you! As a highly experienced Certified Life Coach, I will help you set priorities in line with your God-given purpose. For more information or to set up a phone appointment, please send me an email at drmaryann@maryanndiorio.com. You’ll be taking the first step toward getting out of your mess of stress!

Now, it’s YOUR turn:  What are some steps you’ve taken to eliminate blame from your life? Please leave your response in the Comment Box below. Thank you!

TWEETABLE: “Are You Playing the Blame Game?” by Dr. MaryAnn Diorio (Click to Tweet)

Please tell your family and friends about this blog and please pass this post on to them. Thank you!
_______________________________________________________________

To help you get free from playing the blame game, I wrote YOU WERE MADE FOR GREATNESS!. This book will reveal to you your true power and authority in Christ, including your power and authority to stop playing the Blame Game. Get your copy now!

greatness-ebook-cover-072516Learn about your power and authority in the Kingdom of God! Discover who you truly are in Jesus Christ!

YOU WERE MADE FOR GREATNESS! by Dr. MaryAnn Diorio
Kindle

iPad

Nook

Smashwords

AudioBook

If you found this post helpful, please forward it to a friend. Thank you! Check our archives in the right sidebar for older posts on a variety of topics. You may also search for a particular topic in the search box at the top right. Some of our most popular posts are:

Sex and Soul Ties

How to Recognize a Controlling Spirit

Embrace Your Race

Are you new to this blog? If so, what is the “Matters of the Heart” blog and why will it bless you to read it?

Matters of the Heart is a weekly blog that deals with the deepest issues of the human heart, the issues we all face but sometimes don’t want to talk about. The heart is the programming center of our lives. What is programmed into our heart will affect every area of our lives. Learn how to discover what is in your heart and how to program your heart for success.

AN INVITATION TO YOU: To follow this blog via Facebook, click here. If you are not on Facebook or would prefer to subscribe via a different venue, please check the sidebar to the right for subscription options. Thank you!

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