How to Write Deep POV – Tip #2

Tip #2 in writing in deep POV is:  Do not label your character’s emotions. 

To label your character’s emotions simply means to state them.  Labeling is a form of telling and does little or nothing to bring your character alive.  

Below are two writing samples. The first is an example of labeling. The second is an example of deep POV. 

Before (example of labeling):

She realized how much she hated him. 

After (example of deep POV):

“She closed her eyes and her father was there—all 250 pounds of him, smashing a rock-hard fist into her jaw. Bile shot up to her throat at the memory. She’d never forgive him.”

Do you see how deep POV shows instead of tells?  In the second example, we actually see the character’s hatred as it is expressed in physical action and raw emotion. 

To help you practice, take the following sentences and write them in deep POV.  Then, share your results with us.

  • She realized how much she loved him.

  • He knew how much he wanted that job.

  • She wondered if she’d ever have a good relationship with her mother.


Happy Writing! 🙂

MaryAnn 

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