THE LYING VOICE OF SHAME

“Guard your heart above all else, for it determines 
the course of your life.” ~ Proverbs 4:23

“Matters of the Heart” is a weekly blog that deals with the deepest issues of the human heart, the issues we all face but sometimes don’t want to talk about. The heart is the programming center of our lives. What is programmed into our heart will affect every area of our lives. Learn how to examine your heart and how to program your heart for success.

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Shame is to the heart as chains are to the body. 

Shame keeps us bound. It keeps us a prisoner of the lies that caused our shame.

Most, if not all, of us have experienced shame in one way or another.

I come from a very poor family of eight children. Were it not for the generosity of the nuns at the Catholic school I attended, we would have often gone to bed hungry. Yet, as I carried home on the schoolbus the large shopping bag filled with the nuns’ pungent egg salad sandwiches left over from their lunch, I felt shame. Shame because the other kids on the bus not only knew what I was carrying, but also why. Shame because I believed the lie that poor people were inferior. 

What is shame and where does it come from?

Shame is the lie that says you’re not good enough. While guilt says I MADE a mistake, shame says I AM a mistake.  

Shame comes from negative words spoken to us as a children—words that wounded our hearts. 

  • “You’ll never amount to anything.” 
  • “You’re so clumsy!”
  • “You’re stupid.”
  • “You’re fat.”
  • “You’re poor.”
  • “No one will ever love you.”
  • “I wish I never had you!”
  • “You were an accident.”
  • “You’re ugly.”
  • ‘You’re (fill in the blank).”

Shame comes from experiences that caused us to believe we fell short of the expected mark.

Shame comes straight from the pit of hell.

Has your life been filled with shame?  If so, read these words the Lord wrote just for you: “Instead of your shame you will receive a double portion, and instead of disgrace you will rejoice in your inheritance” (Isaiah 61: 7).

My Prayer for You Today: “May God break the chains of shame off your life. May He take the shame of your life and turn it into the strength of your life.”

Now, it’s YOUR turn: How have you dealt with shame in your life? Please leave your valued comment in the box below.

TWEETABLE:  “THE LYING VOICE OF SHAME” by Dr. MaryAnn Diorio (CLICK TO TWEET).

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RESOURCES TO HELP YOU OVERCOME SHAME:

NEW YOU-TUBE SERIES:  Check out my new You-Tube series, YOU WERE MADE FOR GREATNESS!, based on my popular book by the same title.  


God designed you for greatness in Him. Discover the authority and power you have as a Christ-Follower! Get your copy of YOU WERE MADE FOR GREATNESS!

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READ HOW ONE YOUNG WOMAN OVERCAME HORRIFIC SHAME:

The Italian Chronicles Trilogy is now available in its entirety. Will Maria Landro Tonetta allow God to turn the horrific shame of her life into great joy? Read this page-turning series to find out! Makes a great gift for any occasion!

 Book 1: The Madonna of Pisano    Book 2: A Sicilian Farewell    Book 3: Return to Bella Terra

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Copyright 2018 by Dr. MaryAnn Diorio. All Rights Reserved. This article may not be published or printed in any form whatsoever without the written permission of Dr. MaryAnn Diorio. You may contact her at info@maryanndiorio.com to request permission.

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Are You Ashamed?

Dealing with the Effects of Shame

Guard your heart above all else, for it determines

the course of your life.” ~ Proverbs 4:23
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The young woman cowered in the corner of the couch, clutching a frayed tissue. She’d just revealed a childhood situation of sexual abuse that had triggered an outburst of sobs that wracked her trembling body. Clearly, the pain of her past still lingered and was more entrenched than she had imagined.

Shame. It is the heavy and hidden burden that many carry. 

The word "SHAME" written in vintage metal letterpress type in a wooden drawer with dividers.

Shame is defined by Merriam-Webster as “a condition of humiliating disgrace or disrepute.”  Shame usually comes as a sense of guilt for having done something wrong. But often the wrong was done by someone else, and the person bearing the shame is the victim of the wrong.

Shame gives signals. Among them are the following:

—Perfectionism. The person carrying shame thinks that by being perfect, she will validate her worth.

Inferiority. The person carrying shame thinks he is unworthy and inferior to others.

Hunger for Approval. The person carrying shame craves the approval of others to give him worth.

False Guilt. The person carrying shame often blames herself for what was done to her.

Shame differs from guilt in that shame relates to the self whereas guilt relates to others. For example, we feel guilt when we have been unkind to someone, but we feel shame when we worry about how we appear to others for having been unkind. Guilt says, “What I did was bad.” Shame says, “I am bad for having done that.” Guilt can separate the action from the doer of the action. Shame cannot.

Shame is often accompanied by feelings of unworthiness or inferiority. Shame is one of Satan’s chief tools for keeping us from a deep and intimate relationship with Jesus Christ.

So, how do we get rid of shame? We go to Christ our Healer. Listen to what He promises you regarding your shame: “Instead of shame and dishonor, you will enjoy a double share of honor” (Isaiah 61: 7).  What glorious news! In exchange for shame, our gracious Lord will give us a double share of honor!

Are you carrying around shame in your soul? If so, go to Jesus and give it to Him. He wants to remove your shame once and for all and give you honor in its place. Listen to another one of His promises to you: “He will give a crown of beauty for ashes, a joyous blessing instead of mourning, festive praise instead of despair” (Isaiah 61: 3).

It doesn’t get any better than that! 

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“Instead of shame and dishonor, you will enjoy a double share of honor” (Isaiah 61: 7). CLICK TO TWEET

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Copyright 2016 by Dr. MaryAnn Diorio. All Rights Reserved. This article may not be published or printed in any form whatsoever without the written permission of Dr. MaryAnn Diorio. You may contact her at drmaryann@maryanndiorio.com to request permission.

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Dr. Diorio is a wildly published, award-winning author of fiction and non-fiction. She is a Certified Life Coach, a Certified Biblical Counselor, and a Certified Behavioral Consultant. She is also an award-winning, widely published author of fiction for children and adults. You may reach her at maryann@maryanndiorio.com or via one of her social media venues below:

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