How to Get Rid of Emotional Pain?

by Dr. MaryAnn Diorio


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Hello and Happy Day! This is Dr. MaryAnn Diorio, novelist and life coach, welcoming you to another episode of Winning with the Word. Today is Monday, January 10, 2022, and this is Episode #2 of Series 2022. This episode is titled “How to Get Rid of Emotional Pain.”

Are you hurting on the inside? Are you struggling with negative emotions that you don’t know how to get rid of? Do you sometimes feel as though you simply can’t go on?

If so, I empathize with you. For many years, I carried emotional pain around like a noose around my neck or a ball and chain around my ankle. No matter what I did to get rid of it, it just hung around, crippling my life and keeping me from the freedom I so longed to experience.

But then one day, I learned the secret of getting rid of emotional pain.

But, before I reveal the secret, let’s talk a little about the nature of emotional pain. Emotional pain has its roots in our thinking. Yes, you heard me right. In our thinking. You see, it’s not what happens to us that matters; it’s how we think about what happens to us that matters. I’m going to repeat that statement: It’s not what happens to us that matters; it’ show we think about what happens to us that matters.

In other words, our perspective on our traumatic experience is what gives that experience control over our lives or gives us control over the experience.

For example, two children can both experience the pain of a parent’s alcoholism, but one child learns from the pain of that experience and creates a successful life for herself, while the other child gets angry with God and ends up an alcoholic like his parent.

Perhaps you are the child of an alcoholic or a drug addict. Perhaps you are the product of childhood abuse or trauma. Perhaps you experienced a tragic divorce or lost a child. Perhaps you went bankrupt and lost everything you owned. Whatever your traumatic experience, it left you with a lot of emotional baggage that you now have to deal with.

You’re carrying that emotional baggage around with you, and, whether you realize it or not, it is affecting your relationships. It is causing you continual pain. Isn’t it about time to get rid of it?


It is not what happens to you that matters. It is how you perceive what happens to you that matters.


When I was five years old, I was struck by a car. My parents took me for dead, but, thankfully, I was merely unconscious. During that horrible incident, I sustained a fracture of my left clavicle. I remember awakening to consciousness in the hospital, being held down flat on a stretcher, with a group of white-coated medical personnel pushing down on my shoulder to put it back in place. I screamed in agony at the excruciating pain. In my little five-year-old mind, I did not realize that the doctors and nurses hovering over me were only trying to help me. I perceived them as trying to hurt me even more. In short, I was traumatized by my wrong perception.

Several years later, my parents went through a bankruptcy. We lost our home and had only 30 days to find a house to rent. But no one would rent to a family of seven children. I remember driving around with my pregnant mother, looking for a house. Person after person slammed the door in our faces, saying to my mother, “We refuse to rent to you. Your children will destroy our home.” Little did they know that we were well-behaved children whose parents had trained us to respect the property of others. 

I remember a very cold winter when we ran out of food to eat and oil to heat our home. A very hungry bunch of little children gathered around our old fireplace, stomachs growling as we huddled together around the fire in our winter coats. It was then I learned that, just as the Bible says, poverty is a curse.

I could go on and on with other negative experiences that brought great pain to my life. I’m sure you have your own set of experiences, many of them far worse than mine.

So, why is it that today I am free of the emotional pain of the past? There is only one reason: Jesus Christ set me free!

When I had had enough of emotional pain, I got smart and turned to Jesus. I invited him into my life and received Him as my Savior and Lord. It was then that He began the process of restoring my soul, a promise that He makes in Psalm 23: 3 to all who need freedom from emotional pain.

You might be thinking, “But, Dr. MaryAnn, you don’t understand. My emotional pain is too great.” 

I would say to you, “God is bigger than your pain.” No matter what you’ve been through or what you are going through now, Jesus is bigger than your pain. In fact, He took your pain to the Cross with Him. He doesn’t want you to have to carry it any longer.

So, where do you begin?  

You begin by admitting that you’ve been carrying around a lot of emotional baggage that you want to get rid of. Then you ask Jesus to come into your life to remove the baggage. He will. One layer at a time. Like an onion. He peels away a little. You cry a little. Then He peels away a little more, and you cry a little more. Until one day, you discover that the entire onion has been peeled.  All the pain has been removed. You are finally free!

God did not create us to carry emotional pain. He created us to live joy-filled lives of love and peace. This is what He wants for you.

But do you want it for yourself? Do you want it enough to lay down your own way of getting rid of pain and choosing God’s way? Do you want freedom from pain enough to turn your back on those drugs, those cigarettes, that alcohol, that illicit sex, that pornography, that food addiction?  If so, you are ready to be free of your emotional pain.

Let’s pray together now:

Lord Jesus, I’m tired of carrying around emotional pain. I’m tired of hurting on the inside. Tired of sleepless mights. Tired of fear and worry. Tired of regret and remorse. Tired of hangovers and false highs. Tired of the torment of the past. I’m deciding now to give you my pain because I can’t carry it any longer. And I know that when I give you my pain, You will begin to clean me up. And I’m asking for You to restore my soul as You promise me in Psalm 23: 3.  I invite You now into my life to be my Savior and Lord. Thank You for giving me new life. Thank You for restoring my soul. Thank You for removing the emotional pain of the past. In Your Name I pray. Amen.

If you sincerely prayed this prayer, please write down today’s date. It is your spiritual birthday. And please write to me at I would like to send you a free PDF booklet, titled After You’re Born Again, that will help you get started in your walk with Christ.

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Finally, ask the Lord to lead you to the church of His choice for you where you can learn about Him and have fellowship and encouragement with other Christ-Followers. It is critically important in these last days to fellowship with other believers who are mature in Christ and who can guide you as you grow in Him.

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Copyright 2000-2022 by Dr. MaryAnn Diorio. All Rights Reserved. This article may not be published or printed in any form whatsoever without the written permission of Dr. MaryAnn Diorio. You may contact her at to request permission. Required Disclosure: MaryAnn Diorio is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to This site uses cookies. Your continued use of this site constitutes your consent to our use of cookies. 



Dr. MaryAnn Diorio

“Guard your heart above all else, for it determines 
the course of your life.” ~ Proverbs 4:23

“Matters of the Heart” is a weekly blog that deals with the deepest issues of the human heart, the issues we all face but sometimes don’t want to talk about. The heart is the programming center of our lives. What is programmed into our heart will affect every area of our lives. Learn how to examine your heart and how to program your heart for success.

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Last week, we discussed the results of Adam and Eve’s sin on the human soul. We considered the three parts of the soul—the mind, the will, and the emotions—and the function of each part. In this week’s post, we’ll be exploring some different kinds of soul sickness, focusing particularly on “soul fragmentation.” 

What is soul fragmentation? Soul fragmentation is simply another term for the tearing apart of the soul. This tearing apart occurs during times of trauma. 

When we experience a traumatic event, we cope with the trauma by placing the intense emotion and memory caused by the trauma in a special part of our soul and walling it off from the rest of our soul. Depending on the severity of the trauma, if we didn’t wall it off, we would likely not be able to go on with life. These parts that are walled off are called fragments.

All of us experience soul wounds during our lives. Many of these wounds begin in the womb and in early infancy and childhood. Others result from our own sin. Unless dealt with, these wounds last a lifetime, affecting our relationships and every aspect of our lives. 

Every time the soul is wounded, it is fragmented in some way. The Bible describes this fragmentation in several different terms:

  1. A tearing apart or rending: “Lest he tear my soul like a lion, rending it in pieces, while there is none to deliver” (Psalm 7: 2);
  2. A destruction: “But whoso committeth adultery with a woman lacketh understanding: he that doeth it destroyeth his own soul” (Psalm 6: 32);
  3. A disturbance or an unsettling:–“Since we have heard that some of our number to whom we gave no instruction have disturbed you with their words, unsettling your souls….” (Acts 15: 24);
  4. A defilement or a polluting:–“Then said I, ‘Ah Lord GOD! behold, my soul hath not been polluted: for from my youth up even till now have I not eaten of that which dieth of itself, or is torn in pieces; neither came there abominable flesh into my mouth;'” 
  5. A cutting off from a group:–“Therefore every one that eats it shall bear his iniquity, because he has profaned the hallowed thing of the LORD: and that soul shall be cut off from among his people” (Leviticus 19: 8);
  6. An imprisonment:–“Free my soul from prison that I may praise Your name” (Psalm 142: 7).
  7. Double-Mindedness.–“A double minded man is unstable in all his ways” (James 1: 8).

Sometimes, the soul can be so badly fragmented as to result in severe mental illness.

God designed the spirit and the soul to communicate with each other. Because of the fall of Adam and Eve, this line of communication was severed. So, before we are born again, the spirit and the soul are separated from each other. But when we are born again, the communication between the spirit and the soul is restored. 

“Sometimes, the soul can be so badly fragmented as to result in severe mental illness.”

The soul, however, is not saved when we are born again in the same way that the spirit is saved. When we are born again, we are given a new spirit that is perfect, but we are not given a new soul. The soul still suffers the vestiges of Satan’s attacks upon it and must be renewed by the Word of God (Romans 12: 2). These vestiges often require deliverance ministry in order to be completely removed. Deliverance severs communication between the demonic realm and the soul and results in the soul’s restoration to wholeness by the power of God.

In addition to wrongs that are done to us, our own sin greatly damages our souls. Peter wrote this: Dear friends, I warn you as ‘temporary residents and foreigners’ to keep away from worldly desires that wage war against your very souls” (1 Peter 2: 11). Sexual sin, especially, has grave and deleterious effects on the soul (See my post titled “Sex and Soul Ties”). 

How the Soul Is Fragmented

1–Involvement in witchcraft. Witchcraft opens the door to soul fragmentation. Any time a demon is allowed to gain control over the soul, fragmentation and bondage occur. Note Ezekiel 13: 20: “Therefore, this is what the Lord GOD says: ‘See, I am against the magic charms with which you ensnare souls like birds, and I will tear them from your arms. I will free the souls you have ensnared.'” 

2–Abuse, physical or verbal. Abuse can cause some of the worst kinds of soul fragmentation. When a soul is severely fragmented, it can result in what psychiatrists call “multiple personality disorder.” Years ago, I went with a team from my church to minister at a local mental institution. My heart grieved as I saw that many of the patients there suffered from multiple personality disorder and other types of soul fragmentation, such as schizophrenia and bipolar disorder. They lived in another world mentally and had been severed from truth.

Self-abuse, in the form of drug addiction, alcoholism, gluttony, Satanic music, participation in New Age practices and in false religions, also severely fragments the soul. 

Soul fragmentation as expressed in mental disorders often does not respond to therapy and medication because such modalities do not address the real issue: demonic infiltration, oppression, and even possession.  These can be dealt with only by the power of Jesus Christ administered through Christ-Followers trained in deliverance ministry.

3–Making vows to false gods or to occult or Satanic organizations of any kind; for example, the Masons or the Rosicrucians.  Making such vows imprisons the soul and ties it to the organization or false god to which the vow was made. 

If you think you are suffering from soul sickness, there is hope for you!  In my next and last post on soul sickness, I will discuss alters, which are similar to fragments but more severe than fragments. We will also discuss the wonderful news that your soul can be fully restored by the power and blood of Jesus Christ, our Savior and Lord!  Don’t miss this last post of the series!

My Prayer for Us Today: “Father, we come to You in the Name of Jesus, thanking You for Your mercy and grace. We receive Your healing power to restore our souls. What Satan meant for evil, we trust You to turn to our good. We trust that You will take our ‘mess’ and turn it into our ‘message.’ In Jesus’ name. so be it!”

Now, it’s YOUR turn: Are you beginning to see that your sickness may be due to diseases in your soul? If so, you are experiencing a revelation from God because he deeply loves you.  Please leave your valued comment in the box below. 

NOTE: If you think you are in need of deliverance ministry, please write to me at I will be happy to pray for you. 

TWEETABLE:  “THE SOUL ROOTS OF SICKNESS-Part Three” by Dr. MaryAnn Diorio @DrMaryAnnDiorio (CLICK TO TWEET).

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If you found this post helpful, please forward it to a friend. Thank you! You may also be interested in reading the following popular posts:

“The Soul Roots of Sickness – Part One”

“The Soul Roots of Sickness – Part Two”

“Sex and Soul Ties” 

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How to Conquer a Stubborn Addiction

by Dr. MaryAnn Diorio

“Guard your heart above all else, for it determines
the course of your life.” ~ Proverbs 4:23

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Are you addicted? When we think of addiction, we usually think of drugs, alcohol, cigarettes, gambling, pornography, or sex.  While these are certainly serious addictions, there are others we tend readily to overlook or dismiss, deeming them innocuous: like an addiction to food, coffee, a relationship, a computer screen, a career, a sport, or a workout regimen, to name a few. Spiritually speaking, these addictions can be just as serious and just as much a hindrance to a wholesome relationship with God.

Chain breakingWhat is an addiction? Simply put, an addiction is looking to someone or something other than God to meet our needs.

How can we recognize an addiction in ourselves? Simple: Ask yourself this question: When I’m under stress, where do I go first to get relief? If your answer is anyone or anything other than God, you are in bondage to an addiction.

So, what can we do to overcome an addiction? Here are three steps to consider:

  1. Admit we need help. No matter how much we think we can overcome an addiction through sheer will power, we cannot. To think we can is foolhardy and a sign that we are being deceived. The first step in overcoming an addiction is to admit the addiction to ourselves and then to someone we trust. Keeping our addiction a secret will give it continued power in our life. Exposing our addiction to the light by sharing it with someone we trust will break its power over our life.
  2. Recognize that we are totally dependent on God. We can do nothing without His help. We cannot even take our next breath without His help. So, to think we can beat an addiction without God’s help is a lie. In a culture that idolizes self-reliance, total dependence on God goes against the grain. But only total dependence on God will break us free from total dependence on our addiction.
  3. Choose to be accountable. No matter how much we think so, we will never overcome an addiction alone. We need the support of others who will hold us accountable, who will pray for us, and who will encourage us when we are being tempted. We need someone whom we can call when the temptation to cave in is severe. We need someone who will speak the truth to us in love and help us get up when we fall.

The Word of God says that we can do all things through Christ Who gives us strength (Philippians 4: 13). This includes conquering stubborn addictions. The Word of God also says that we are more than conquerors through Christ Who loves us (Romans 8: 37).

Conquering addictions is not easy, but it is absolutely possible. Purpose in your heart now to allow Jesus to set you free from all addictions. Co-operate with Him by obeying what He tells you to do. Be encouraged by His great promise to you: So if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed (John 8: 36).

“An addiction is looking to someone or something other than God to meet our needs.” ~ Dr. MaryAnn Diorio (CLICK TO TWEET)

“How to Conquer a Stubborn Addiction” by Dr. MaryAnn Diorio (CLICK TO TWEET)

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The Story of the Two Sons

“Guard your heart above all else, for it determines
the course of your life.” ~ Proverbs 4:23

confusion  , direction , arrowOnce upon a time there was an alcoholic who had two sons. One son looked at his father and thought, When I grow up, I’m going to be just like my father. The other son looked at his father and thought, When I grow up, I will not be at all like my father.  Surely enough, the first son grew up to be an alcoholic just like his father, and surely enough, the second son grew up and never touched an alcoholic drink his entire life.

What was the difference between the two sons? The difference was in what they believed. The son who became an alcoholic believed he had no control over his life.  The son who remained sober believed he did have control over his life.  The alcoholic son believed he was a victim of circumstances. The sober son believed he was a victor over circumstances. The son who became an alcoholic believed he was doomed by his past. The second son who remained sober believed that his past had no power over him unless he gave it power.

In short, the son who became an alcoholic allowed his past to break him. The son who remained sober allowed his past to make him.

What about you? Are you allowing your past to make you or break you?

The choice is entirely up to you.

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Dr. Diorio is a Certified Life Coach, a Certified Biblical Counselor, and a Certified Behavioral Consultant. She is also an award-winning, widely published author of fiction for children and adults. You may reach her at  or via one of her social media venues below:

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