Are You a Perfectionist?

by Dr. MaryAnn Diorio


“Winning with the Word” is a weekly blog that will help you to be a winner in life by applying God’s principles for living the abundant life as found in the Bible, God’s manual for life.

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Hello and Happy Day! This is Dr. MaryAnn Diorio, Novelist and Life Coach, welcoming you to another episode of Winning with the Word. Today is Monday, May 4, 2020. Today’s Podcast is Episode #18 in Series 2020 and is titled “Are You a Perfectionist?”

Perfectionism is a silent malady. It often afflicts people without their realizing it. I was once its victim but, by the grace of God, I have made enormous strides in overcoming this silent monster. By applying the Word of God to my life, I was able to discover how the enemy uses perfectionism to keep us in bondage. And, as always, God’s truth set me free!

What is perfectionism? Simply put, it is deriving our worth from our accomplishments instead of deriving it from God Who alone is the rightful source of our worth.

So, let me ask you? Are you a perfectionist? Here are some questions to ask yourself:

  1. You think in “all-or-nothing” terms. There is no gray in your life. For example, if you are trying to lose weight but eat a doughnut, you figure you’ve blown it, so why not eat the whole batch? 

    SOLUTION: Recognize that life is not black-and-white. Sometimes it is gray.

  2. You determine your worth by your accomplishments. You don’t feel good about yourself unless you accomplish a lot. And you continually judge your worth by how much you have accomplished.

    SOLUTION: Recognize that you don’t have to earn your worth. God has already given it to you by virtue of creating you.

  3. You continually beat yourself up when you mess up. Your self-worth is conditional, based on how perfectly you do something. If you don’t do it perfectly, you are miserable.

    SOLUTION: Your worth is unconditional and does not depend on how well or how badly you do something.

  4. You do not like constructive criticism from others. Any corrective comment from another person is a personal threat to your self-worth because such a comment implies that you are not “perfect.”

    SOLUTION: Do not take constructive criticism personally for it is not meant to be that way. Accept it gratefully as a gift to make your life better.

  5. You include the word “should” as a major part of your vocabulary. I “should” plan a menu each week; I “should” call my best friend more often; I “should” read my Bible for at least one hour a day.

    SOLUTION: Give up the “tyranny of should” and learn to relax by simply doing your best.

  6. You take little time for yourself. You always put the needs of others above your own. You tell yourself that you will take time for yourself after you fulfill your responsibilities to others. But you never take that time for yourself.

    SOLUTION: Treat yourself with the same love and respect with which you treat others. Make time for yourself and do so without guilt. You are worth it because God said so!

  7. You always live in the future, thinking, “I’ll feel good about myself when . . . .” The truth is that a perfectionist will never feel good about himself because he feels his accomplishments are never enough.

    SOLUTION: The future never comes because it is always today. Learn to be thankful for where you are today. Tomorrow will take care of itself.

There is a huge difference between perfectionism and excellence.  Perfectionism means doing something perfectly, which is impossible this side of Heaven. Excellence means doing one’s best. But not only does excellence means doing one’s best; it also means being content with one’s best, for one’s best is the most anyone can do. 

If you are struggling with perfectionism, take your struggle to the Lord. Ask Him to change your thinking to align with His Word. Ask Him to reveal to you that He loves you with an everlasting love, and that nothing you do or don’t do can ever change that truth.

The starting point of freedom from perfectionism is Jesus Christ. If you have not received Him as your Savior and Lord, I urge you to do so now. 

Pray this simple prayer with me:

Lord Jesus, I come to You now, asking You to forgive me of trying to earn my worth through my accomplishments. I receive You as my Savior and Lord. Thank You that I have worth simply because You have already given it to me. In Your Name I pray. Amen.

If you prayed this simple prayer, please write to me at I would like to send you a little booklet that will help you get started in your relationship with Jesus Christ. I also encourage you to get yourself a Bible and read it every single day, starting in the Gospel of John, which is in the second half of the Bible. The Bible is God’s love letter to you, His manual for your life. In it He reveals Who He is, and He instructs you how to live.

Finally, ask the Lord to lead you to the church of His choice for you where you can learn about Him and have fellowship and encouragement with other Christ-Followers.

For those of you who may not know, I write fiction about many of the issues I deal with in this blog and podcast. My latest novel, In Black and White, recently won First Place in the Historical Fiction Category of the 2020 Christian Indie Book Awards Contest. It is the compelling love story between a white woman and a black man as they face overwhelming obstacles, both societal and familial, that threaten to destroy their love. You can purchase your copy in print or ebook format on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, Kobo, iBooks, and other popular venues. 








For additional resources on living the abundant life in Christ, visit my website at

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Thank you so much for listening. This is Dr. MaryAnn Diorio, novelist and life coach, reminding you that God loves you just as you are and just where you are, and that He will help you to keep on winning with the Word.

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