Posted on Monday, January 10, 2022

How to Get Rid of Emotional Pain?

by Dr. MaryAnn Diorio

by MaryAnn

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Hello and Happy Day! This is Dr. MaryAnn Diorio, novelist and life coach, welcoming you to another episode of Winning with the Word. Today is Monday, January 10, 2022, and this is Episode #2 of Series 2022. This episode is titled “How to Get Rid of Emotional Pain.”

Are you hurting on the inside? Are you struggling with negative emotions that you don’t know how to get rid of? Do you sometimes feel as though you simply can’t go on?

If so, I empathize with you. For many years, I carried emotional pain around like a noose around my neck or a ball and chain around my ankle. No matter what I did to get rid of it, it just hung around, crippling my life and keeping me from the freedom I so longed to experience.

But then one day, I learned the secret of getting rid of emotional pain.

But, before I reveal the secret, let’s talk a little about the nature of emotional pain. Emotional pain has its roots in our thinking. Yes, you heard me right. In our thinking. You see, it’s not what happens to us that matters; it’s how we think about what happens to us that matters. I’m going to repeat that statement: It’s not what happens to us that matters; it’ show we think about what happens to us that matters.

In other words, our perspective on our traumatic experience is what gives that experience control over our lives or gives us control over the experience.

For example, two children can both experience the pain of a parent’s alcoholism, but one child learns from the pain of that experience and creates a successful life for herself, while the other child gets angry with God and ends up an alcoholic like his parent.

Perhaps you are the child of an alcoholic or a drug addict. Perhaps you are the product of childhood abuse or trauma. Perhaps you experienced a tragic divorce or lost a child. Perhaps you went bankrupt and lost everything you owned. Whatever your traumatic experience, it left you with a lot of emotional baggage that you now have to deal with.

You’re carrying that emotional baggage around with you, and, whether you realize it or not, it is affecting your relationships. It is causing you continual pain. Isn’t it about time to get rid of it?

It is not what happens to you that matters. It is how you perceive what happens to you that matters.

When I was five years old, I was struck by a car. My parents took me for dead, but, thankfully, I was merely unconscious. During that horrible incident, I sustained a fracture of my left clavicle. I remember awakening to consciousness in the hospital, being held down flat on a stretcher, with a group of white-coated medical personnel pushing down on my shoulder to put it back in place. I screamed in agony at the excruciating pain. In my little five-year-old mind, I did not realize that the doctors and nurses hovering over me were only trying to help me. I perceived them as trying to hurt me even more. In short, I was traumatized by my wrong perception.

Several years later, my parents went through a bankruptcy. We lost our home and had only 30 days to find a house to rent. But no one would rent to a family of seven children. I remember driving around with my pregnant mother, looking for a house. Person after person slammed the door in our faces, saying to my mother, “We refuse to rent to you. Your children will destroy our home.” Little did they know that we were well-behaved children whose parents had trained us to respect the property of others.

I remember a very cold winter when we ran out of food to eat and oil to heat our home. A very hungry bunch of little children gathered around our old fireplace, stomachs growling as we huddled together around the fire in our winter coats. It was then I learned that, just as the Bible says, poverty is a curse.

I could go on and on with other negative experiences that brought great pain to my life. I’m sure you have your own set of experiences, many of them far worse than mine.

So, why is it that today I am free of the emotional pain of the past? There is only one reason: Jesus Christ set me free!

When I had had enough of emotional pain, I got smart and turned to Jesus. I invited him into my life and received Him as my Savior and Lord. It was then that He began the process of restoring my soul, a promise that He makes in Psalm 23: 3 to all who need freedom from emotional pain.

You might be thinking, “But, Dr. MaryAnn, you don’t understand. My emotional pain is too great.”

I would say to you, “God is bigger than your pain.” No matter what you’ve been through or what you are going through now, Jesus is bigger than your pain. In fact, He took your pain to the Cross with Him. He doesn’t want you to have to carry it any longer.

So, where do you begin?

You begin by admitting that you’ve been carrying around a lot of emotional baggage that you want to get rid of. Then you ask Jesus to come into your life to remove the baggage. He will. One layer at a time. Like an onion. He peels away a little. You cry a little. Then He peels away a little more, and you cry a little more. Until one day, you discover that the entire onion has been peeled. All the pain has been removed. You are finally free!

God did not create us to carry emotional pain. He created us to live joy-filled lives of love and peace. This is what He wants for you.

But do you want it for yourself? Do you want it enough to lay down your own way of getting rid of pain and choosing God’s way? Do you want freedom from pain enough to turn your back on those drugs, those cigarettes, that alcohol, that illicit sex, that pornography, that food addiction? If so, you are ready to be free of your emotional pain.

Let’s pray together now:

Lord Jesus, I’m tired of carrying around emotional pain. I’m tired of hurting on the inside. Tired of sleepless mights. Tired of fear and worry. Tired of regret and remorse. Tired of hangovers and false highs. Tired of the torment of the past. I’m deciding now to give you my pain because I can’t carry it any longer. And I know that when I give you my pain, You will begin to clean me up. And I’m asking for You to restore my soul as You promise me in Psalm 23: 3. I invite You now into my life to be my Savior and Lord. Thank You for giving me new life. Thank You for restoring my soul. Thank You for removing the emotional pain of the past. In Your Name I pray. Amen.

If you sincerely prayed this prayer, please write down today’s date. It is your spiritual birthday. And please write to me at drmaryann@maryanndiorio.com. I would like to send you a free PDF booklet, titled After You’re Born Again, that will help you get started in your walk with Christ.

I also encourage you to get yourself a Bible and read it every single day. The Bible is God’s love letter to you, His manual for your life. In the Bible, God reveals Who He is, and He teaches you how to live.

Finally, ask the Lord to lead you to the church of His choice for you where you can learn about Him and have fellowship and encouragement with other Christ-Followers. It is critically important in these last days to fellowship with other believers who are mature in Christ and who can guide you as you grow in Him.

For those of you who may not know, I write fiction that deals with the deepest issues of the human heart. My stories are about ordinary people like you and me who struggle with the same kinds of problems we struggle with. So, check out my fiction at maryanndiorio.com/book-table.

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Until next time, remember that God loves you just as you are and just where you are, and that He will help you to keep on Winning with the Word!

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Posted on Monday, December 10, 2018

Are You a Prisoner of Your Past?

by Dr. MaryAnn Diorio

by MaryAnn

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“Guard your heart above all else, for it determines
the course of your life.” ~ Proverbs 4:23

“Matters of the Heart” is a weekly blog that deals with the deepest issues of the human heart, the issues we all face but sometimes don’t want to talk about. The heart is the programming center of our lives. What is programmed into our heart will affect every area of our lives. Learn how to examine your heart and how to program your heart for success.

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Are you continually looking back on your life with regret over something you did or over a decision you made that changed the course of your life?

Do you find it difficult to move forward because you’re stuck in the past?

If so, take heart. I understand how you feel.

For a very long time, I struggled with a career decision I made before I came to Christ. Satan had me believing that that career decision put me out of God’s will for my life and, therefore, I was destined never to fulfill His purpose for me.

Along with the regret came emotional torment and self-condemnation. Now, had I been more spiritually astute, I would have recognized that torment and self-condemnation come from Satan, not from God. But I was in bondage to a mental and emotional stronghold, and I needed deliverance. Thank God, our Lord eventually delivered me from this lying, deceptive spirit.

Perhaps you, too, are in the grips of regret and remorse over something in your past, and you are having a very hard time letting go. You keep looking back, and each time you do, you are tormented and you beat yourself up.

I say to you, STOP!

Stop, and consider these steps that I myself took and that helped me to break free from the tyranny of the past:

1__PRAY. During my struggle, I continually cried out to God to help me break free. As much as I tried not to, I kept rehashing my career decision to the point that it became an obsession. This fact should have been a red flag to me. When a thought becomes an obsession, the thought has become a stronghold.

2__MAKE A QUALITY DECISION NOT TO LOOK BACK. When you are tempted to look back, resist the urge in the power of Christ. Only through His power and strength can you stop looking back.

“I focus on this one thing: Forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead….” Philippians 3: 13

The Apostle Paul had a lot to regret. Before he encountered Christ, he murdered Christians. He could have let that horrific sin destroy him if he had allowed it to torment him. But he didn’t. In fact, it was the Apostle Paul who wrote theses famous words in Philippians 3: 13: “…one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead.”

Paul discovered the secret to overcoming regret. The secret was to stop looking back and to start looking forward. If Paul could do this through the power of Christ, we can do it, too.

3__STAY FOCUSED ON THE FUTURE. Take captive every thought that tries to push you into the past and change its direction to the future. We cannot change the past, but we can shape the future by what we think. We can avoid future regrets by focusing on Jesus, our Lord Who holds the future.

If we are in Christ, He has redeemed every regret and has turned it into a blessing. Romans 8: 28 tells us that “all things work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to His purpose.”

If you are in Christ, you have been called according to His purpose, no matter how many regrets you may have. Give all of those regrets to Him–every single one–and let Him bring beauty out of your ashes.

Remember this: God has a plan for your life, and it is a plan for good and not for evil (Jeremiah 29: 11). He also promises us in Philippians 1: 6 that He will complete the good work He began in us. So, expect Him to work out His plan for your life.

Jesus is the Answer both to the regrets of the past and the hopes of the future. Turn to Him, and He will set you free from your past.

Now, it’s YOUR turn: Please share your questions and insights in the Comments box below. Thank you!

TWEETABLE: “Are You a Prisoner of Your Past?” by Dr. MaryAnn Diorio @DrMaryAnnDiorio (Click to Tweet)

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If you found this post helpful, please forward it to a friend. Thank you! You may also be interested in reading the following popular posts:

“How to Destroy Mental Strongholds”

“Convergence: Clear Sign of the End Times”

“The Rise of Wicca, Witches, and Warlocks”

“Don’t Let Satan Play Your Pipes!”

“How to Recognize a Controlling Spirit”

“Sex and Soul Ties”

Please check our archives in the right sidebar for older posts on a variety of topics. You may also search for a particular topic in the search box at the top right.

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Copyright 2018 by Dr. MaryAnn Diorio. All Rights Reserved. This article may not be published or printed in any form whatsoever without the written permission of Dr. MaryAnn Diorio. You may contact her at info@maryanndiorio.com to request permission.

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Posted on Monday, August 6, 2018

IS REGRET STEALING YOUR JOY?

by Dr. MaryAnn Diorio

by MaryAnn

“Guard your heart above all else, for it determines
the course of your life.” ~ Proverbs 4:23

AN INVITATION TO YOU: To follow this blog, click here.

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Years ago, shortly after college, I made a career decision that I later came to regret. At the time, I had not been born again, and I didn’t know enough to pray and ask God for direction before making a decision. Also, I had no clue God had a plan for my life far different from my own plan for my life.

Over the subsequent years, that career decision filled me with regret. When I finally accepted Christ as my Savior, He began working on my heart to show me that the decision I had made would redound to my benefit. Indeed, now nearly half a century later, I can say that what I thought was a wrong decision did, indeed, redound to my great good.

How?

1–That seemingly wrong decision set me on a path that eventually led me to an encounter with Christ.

2–That seemingly wrong decision resulted in my marrying my wonderful husband of almost 49 years.

3–That seemingly wrong decision moved me into God’s true calling for my life–to write for Him.

What about you? Is there something in your life you regret? A sin? A decision? A lost opportunity? No matter what you wish you hadn’t done or hadn’t said, or had done and had said, when you turn to Jesus–in repentance, if necessary–He will bring good out of your regret.

Regret is a form of grief, and like all grief, it needs to be resolved in order for life to go on as God meant it to go on. But remember this: Jesus took our griefs. In Isaiah 53: 4, we read this: “Surely he hath borne our griefs, and carried our sorrows: yet we did esteem him stricken, smitten of God, and afflicted.” So give your regret to Jesus and receive His joy in exchange.

The Apostle Paul had much to regret. Before encountering Christ, He murdered Christians. Yet, Paul said this about his life: I focus on this one thing: Forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead” Philippians 3: 13.

“And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them.” – Romans 8: 28

Let’s follow Paul’s example and choose to forget the past and to look forward to what lies ahead. For those who are in Christ, what lies ahead can only be for our good.

My Prayer for You Today: Lord Jesus, I ask You to comfort all those suffering from regret. Give them revelation knowledge that, in Your mercy and grace, You will cause everything that has blighted their past to work for their good because they love You and are called according to Your purpose. Amen.

Now, it’s YOUR turn: Have you experienced regret over something in your past? If so, how have you dealt with it?

TWEETABLE: “IS REGRET STEALING YOUR JOY?” by Dr. MaryAnn Diorio @DrMaryAnnDiorio (CLICK TO TWEET).

To be sure you don’t miss any of my future blog posts, you may wish to subscribe to Matters of the Heart. CLICK HERE.

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THE ITALIAN CHRONICLES TRILOGY

Book 1: The Madonna of Pisano Book 2: A Sicilian Farewell Book 3: Return to Bella Terra

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If you found this post helpful, please forward it to a friend. Thank you! You may also be interested in reading the following popular posts:

“The Soul Roots of Sickness – Part Four”

“The Soul Roots of Sickness – Part One”

“The Soul Roots of Sickness – Part Two”

“The Soul Roots of Sickness – Part Three”

“Sex and Soul Ties”

Please check our archives in the right sidebar for older posts on a variety of topics. You may also search for a particular topic in the search box at the top right.

For additional encouragement, check out my podcasts at the following links:

A Moment with MaryAnn – Podcasts on Living the Good Life

Winning with the Word Podcast Series

Write Your Heart Out! – Podcasts for Writers

Please tell your family and friends about this blog and my other resources, and please pass this post on to them. Thank you!

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Posted on Friday, July 24, 2015

Are You a Victim of the “If Onlys”?

Three Tips for Handling Regret

by MaryAnn

“Guard your heart above all else, for it determines
the course of your life.” ~ Proverbs 4:23
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If you’ve lived a few years on this earth, you’ve most likely made some decisions you’ve regretted. Perhaps you made a poor financial decision that now has you in tremendous debt. Or perhaps you had an abortion and are now tormented with agonizing feelings of guilt. Whatever the case may be, how you handle your regret will determine the kind of future you will live.

Some people have the ability simply to face their mistakes, learn from them, and move on. Others, however, have a very difficult time letting go of the past. Instead of accepting the fact that they’ve missed the mark, they allow the mistake to torment them. They keep thinking about it, wondering what their life would be like if they had not made the mistake. They allow themselves to become a victim of the if onlys.

The Bible, God’s manual for man, addresses every problem you will ever face, including the problem of the if onlys. Let’s take a look at what it says.

The Apostle Paul writes in Philippians 3:13-14: “One thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind and reaching forward to those things which are ahead, I press toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.” Before giving his life to Jesus Christ, Paul had Christians killed. He would drag men, women, and children out of their homes and turn them over to the authorities to be beaten, imprisoned, and murdered.

After he had an astounding encounter Christ, Paul deeply regretted what he had done and asked God to forgive him. Paul could have allowed the memory of his past sins to stand in the way of being all that God created him to be, but Paul refused to do so.

The above verse reveals the three steps he took to overcome the regrets of his past. These same three steps will also help you to get rid of the if onlys of your past.

1) Forget those things that are behind. “Great!” you say. “How do you forget the mistakes of the past?” First of all, you admit them. Secondly, you repent of them by asking God to forgive you and by determining that you will not make those mistakes again. Third, you decide, by an act of your will, to put your mistakes behind you.

God, in His great mercy, has made provision to cover all our mistakes, our poor decisions, our regrets. That provision is Jesus Christ. He’s called our Redeemer because He redeems us from the past. To redeem means to release from blame.

Jesus releases you from the blame of the sins of your past. Not only that, He gives you a bright future. He says, “My plans for you are for good and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope” (Jeremiah 29:11). All you have to do is invite Him into your life and let Him redeem you.

2) Reach forward to those things which are ahead. Living in the past is like trying to drive while continually looking in your rear-view mirror. Sooner or later, you will crash. The same is true in life. If you keep looking back, you’ll never get to your destination.

Concentrate, instead, on those things that lie ahead. What are those things? They are the dreams that God has placed in your heart. Dreams energize your life and pull you into the future. The Bible says that a person without a dream will die (Proverbs 29:18). He may not die outwardly, but he will surely die inwardly.

3) Press toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus. The greatest goal that you can pursue is Jesus Christ. As you look to Him to save you, you will find all of your if onlys slipping away. He Himself will cut the cables that have kept you emotionally bound to your past, and, like an eagle, you will soar joyfully to the great heights of freedom for which God created you.

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In my newest work of fiction, SURRENDER TO LOVE, young widow and life coach, Dr. Teresa Lopez Gonzalez, regrets that she did not have more time with her dead husband. Join her as she struggles to overcome regret and move into the future God has ordained for her.

Available in Kindle and print versions.

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Copyright 2015 by Dr. MaryAnn Diorio. All Rights Reserved. This article may not be published or printed in any form whatsoever without the written permission of Dr. MaryAnn Diorio. You may contact her at maryann@maryanndiorio.com to request permission.

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Dr. Diorio is a Certified Life Coach, a Certified Biblical Counselor, and a Certified Behavioral Consultant. She is also an award-winning, widely published author of fiction for children and adults. You may reach her at maryann@maryanndiorio.com or via one of her social media venues below: