July 12, 2025
The main character in my award-winning novel, The Madonna of Pisano, faces the relationship crisis of her life. Without giving away the story, I’ll say that unless she chooses to forgive, she will live a life of misery, shame, and powerlessness.
But Maria refuses to be a victim of the atrocity inflicted upon her. She chooses to forgive the one who ruined her life. And, in so doing, she is set free.
Now It wasn’t easy for her to forgive. Nor is it always easy to forgive. In fact, most of the time, it is extremely difficult to forgive.
Why? Because God has given us an innate sense of justice. Deep down inside, we know that an injustice must be punished and paid for. And when it is not, we have trouble accepting that fact.
We forget one thing, however. It is not up to us to punish the one who wronged us. God will take care of that in due time because only He can judge righteously and rightly. Our job is to forgive the one who hurt us because, in so doing, we set ourselves free from torment and suffering. As Stormie Omartian said, “Forgiveness doesn’t make the other person right; it makes you free.”
One of my favorite people—Corrie ten Boom—said this about forgiveness: “Forgiveness is the key that unlocks the door of resentment and the handcuffs of hatred. It is a power that breaks the chains of bitterness and the shackles of selfishness.” Corrie knew whereof she spoke. She and her sister were in a concentration camp for several years for having harbored Jews in their home. Her sister died in the camp, but Corrie survived.
Years later, while speaking about her experiences at a meeting, Corrie noticed a man enter the room. He was one of the Nazi guards who had tortured her while she was in the concentration camp. When Corrie first saw him, all the pain of the past rushed into her heart. But when he came up to her and asked her to forgive him, she did. And she was set free. (You can read Corrie’s own moving account of the incident HERE).
Most people have trouble forgiving because they do not understand what forgiveness really is. In our next post, we will explore what forgiveness is and what it isn’t.
But for now, let me say that of all the character traits of a good relationship, forgiveness is the most important. Yet, forgiveness is the hardest to exercise. Why?
Because forgiveness stems out of agape love (see last week’s post), and without agape love, there can be no forgiveness. You may recall that agape love is the only kind of love based solely on the will. It is based not on a feeling but on a decision. Indeed, often, those who practice agape love have negative feelings toward the person to whom they are showing love. That is the beauty and the nature of agape love. It does not discriminate based on feelings. It simply chooses to love.
This is the way God loves us. Scripture tells us that He loved us “while we were still sinners” (Romans 5: 8). In other words, God chose to love us even though we were behaving miserably and living in sin. He certainly didn’t like the fact that we were sinning. But He chose to love us anyway.
One day, I had a very interesting conversation with the Lord. I was asking Him to help me to love someone who, in my opinion, was unlovable. I wanted to do the right thing, but I was having trouble because I did not like this person. His personality grated me, but I had to work with him. I knew that I needed to look beyond his personality. I also knew that I needed God’s grace to do so.
When I explained to the Lord that I did not like this person, He said, “Do you think I always like you?”
I was taken aback and didn’t know what to say. I had assumed that God always liked me.
“Well,” the Lord continued. “I don’t always like you, either. For instance, I don’t like you when you behave in a manner that displeases Me.” Then He paused and smiled. “But I always love you.”
Then it struck me that God loves us with agape love. He loves us by an act of His will, by a decision to love us. He doesn’t always like what we do, but He always loves who we are.
And this is how God wants us to love the people with whom we are in relationship. There will be many times when those we love—especially those closest to us—will get on our nerves. At those times, we must choose to love them, remembering that. at times, we get on their nerves as well.
It takes courage to love with agape love. Most of all, it takes God’s grace. We cannot love others with agape love by our own strength. We need God’s help.
Is there a particular relationship in your life that is floundering or even dying? If so, make the decision now to love that person with agape love, no matter how you feel about him or her. Then watch amazing things happen as that person begins to respond.
At first, he or she may be incredulous or skeptical about “the new you.” But keep at it, trusting God’s promise to us in 1 Corinthians 13: 8 that “love [agape] never fails.” (Brackets mine.)
Next time, we will explore the nature of forgiveness: what it is and what is it not.
Until then, remember that the secret to great relationships is always to treat others as you would like to be treated.
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Copyright 2025 by MaryAnn Diorio, PhD. All Rights Reserved.
This week’s featured book: The Madonna of Pisano. Book 1 in The Italian Chronicles Trilogy.
A mother’s sacrifice. A village’s judgment. A love that changes everything.
In a small Italian village where honor is everything, Maria Landro’s world is shattered by a betrayal she never saw coming. Once promised a bright future, she is cast aside—shunned, whispered about, and left to raise her son alone. With her family’s farm on the brink of ruin and the weight of scandal threatening to crush her, Maria is left with one burning desire: revenge.
But when the mysterious and kind-hearted Luca Tonetta enters her life, Maria faces an impossible choice—cling to the past or embrace a future she never thought possible. Can love heal wounds buried in shame and sorrow?
🌿 A sweeping historical romance filled with:
✅ A courageous heroine fighting for her son
✅ Forbidden love, betrayal, and redemption
✅ The beauty of Italy brought to life in vivid detail
✅ A heart-wrenching journey of forgiveness and hope
✨ Perfect for fans of Nicholas Sparks, Hallmark romance, and epic stories set in Italy.
📖 Begin your journey through The Italian Chronicles today!
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