The Relationship Road Blog

When Strife Strikes

by Dr. MaryAnn Diorio | The Relationship Road | 0 comments

by Dr. MaryAnn Diorio

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August 9, 2025

How’s that for a tongue-twister title? But worse than being a tongue-twister, when strife strikes, it opens the door to every evil thing.

Every evil thing? Yes, the Bible says so. In James 3: 16, we read: “For where envying and strife is, there is confusion and every evil work.” Some Bible versions translate the word strife as selfish ambition or self-seeking.

Indeed! That is exactly what strife is. It is creating conflict or contention in order to get one’s own way. Interestingly, the Bible says that contention, or strife, comes only through pride: “Pride cometh only by contention” (Proverbs 13: 10).

Not only is our title “Strife Strikes” a tongue-twister, strife is also a relationship-twister in every sense of the word twister. Where I live on the East Coast, we sometimes call a tornado a twister. We all know what havoc a tornado can wreak and what awful wreckage it can leave behind. Well, strife works the same way. It wreaks havoc and leaves wreckage in its wake, whether that wreckage be emotional, psychological, or physical.

Strife is a destroyer. But not only is it a destroyer, it is the chief destroyer. As God’s Word says, where there is strife, there is every evil thing. This means that every evil is present and possible in an atmosphere of strife.

You may be thinking, But, Dr. MaryAnn, when I’ve been in strife, I’ve never seen every evil thing. You exaggerate.

Friend, I don’t exaggerate. If God said that where there is strife, there is every evil thing, then where there is strife, there is every evil thing. God cannot lie. He says what He means and He means what He says.

You see, there is a natural realm and there is a spiritual realm. With our physical senses, we are aware only of the natural realm. But the spiritual realm is more real than the natural realm. And if we could see into the spiritual realm, we would see the demonic activity going on while we are in strife.

So how do we handle strife when it rears its ugly head?

We nip it in the bud. We give no place to it. If we give even the slightest toehold to strife, it will overtake us. Scripture warns us in Proverbs 17: 14 that “starting a quarrel is like opening a floodgate, so stop before a dispute breaks out.” Imagine cutting a hole in a dam and releasing the water. Disaster would surely ensue.

And so it is with strife.

How to Deal with Strife

So, at the first sign of strife, we must put a stop to it. This requires humility and the grace of God. It requires putting the need of the other person in the relationship first, before one’s own needs. It involves recognizing that the other person in the relationship may be right and you may be wrong.

The next time you are tempted to fall into strife, take a deep breath and consider the dire consequences. Is ithe strife worth your relationship? Is it more important for you to get your own way than to love the other person? If so, perhaps you don’t deserve being in a relationship with that person.

Remember this: Nothing good can come out of strife. Only evil. And giving in to evil will destroy you and your relationship every single time.

If you’d like to see how strife nearly destroys a marriage, I invite you to read my novel, The Rabbi and Mrs. Goldstein, Book 2 in my popular series titled The Wives of Old Cape May.

To purchase your copy of The Rabbi and Mrs. Goldstein, click on one of the links below:

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