WINNING WITH THE WORD
“Winning with the Word” is a weekly blog that will help you to be a winner in life by applying God’s principles for living the abundant life as found in the Bible, God’s manual for life.
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AMENDMENT: It has been brought to my attention that a Biblical marriage consists of more than just sexual union. There must also be Ceremony (in the sense of the father’s or the family’s approval of the betrothal), Covenant (the commitment before God of the man and the woman to each other), and Consummation (sexual union). Please prayerfully consider these points as you read or listen. Thank you.
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If you’ve had sex outside of marriage, this podcast is for you. So, listen up. It could give you insights into many of the problems you’re experiencing in your life—problems you’ve had trouble solving or resolving.
If you’ve had sex outside of marriage, you formed a soul tie—or more than one—with the person or persons with whom you had sex. Unbeknown to you, that soul tie may be the cause of the emotional, psychological, and physical problems that are now troubling you or maybe even tormenting you—problems like nightmares, panic attacks, anxiety, insomnia, unusual fear or phobias, addictive behaviors—or physical problems, like migraine headaches, infertility, heart palpitations, or digestive issues, among many others. You may have tried and tried to get rid of these problems, but they have been resistant to all kinds of treatment. But be encouraged! What you are about to hear may be the answer you’ve been looking for.
So, what is a soul tie? A soul tie is an emotional and psychological connection that forms in a relationship, especially a sexual relationship. For the purposes of this podcast, we will confine ourselves to discussing the soul tie that occurs in a sexual relationship.
Before getting into the meat of our discussion, let me explain that we human beings are made up of three parts: spirit, soul, and body. This truth is found in the Bible, God’s manual for man, in 1 Thessalonians chapter 5: verse 23 where the Apostle Paul writes: “May your whole spirit, soul and body be kept blameless at the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ.” (Italics mine).
Just as God is a triune—or three-part Being (Father, Son and Holy Spirit)—so we who are made in His image, are triune beings made up of a spirit, a soul, and a body. Your spirit is who you really are, the core of your being, the real you. Your soul is made up of your mind, your will, and your emotions. Your body is what houses your spirit and your soul. Your body is what I like to call your “earth suit”.
Whenever a man and a woman engage in the sexual act, a bond is formed. That bond is either godly or ungodly. If the sexual act occurs in marriage, then the bond is godly. It is a bond sanctioned and approved by God because He has ordained that sex should be engaged in only in marriage. If the sexual act occurs outside of marriage, then the bond is ungodly. In other words, God declares the sexual act outside of marriage to be illegal and illicit, and He does not approve of it.
When a person has engaged in sexual activity outside of marriage—whether through fornication or adultery—a soul tie is formed. While the expression “soul tie” does not appear in the Bible, the concept of a soul tie does. In 1 Corinthians chapter 6: verse 16, the Bible says this: “He who joins himself to a harlot, becomes one body with her. For as it is written, ‘the two shall become one flesh.’”
The word “joins” in the Greek language used in this passage means “glued to”. Think of it this way. If you glue two pieces of wood together and then pull them apart, there is damage to each piece. Not only that. Parts from one piece of wood remain stuck to the other piece of wood.
| God is not out to keep you from pleasure. He is out to keep you from pain! |
This is what happens in the sexual act. The two souls are joined or glued together. In the context of marriage, this is a good thing because the man and the woman have committed to be faithful to each other for the rest of their lives. But outside of marriage, this is not a good thing because the man and the woman have not committed to be faithful to each other for the rest of their lives. In fact, the contrary is true. They avoid marriage because they do not want the commitment of faithfulness that marriage requires.
Nonetheless, pieces of the souls of the man and the woman who have had sex outside of marriage remain glued to each other. And those pieces will remain glued to each other until the Lord Jesus supernaturally removes them.
When a man and a woman engage in sexual intercourse, their sexual encounter is not just biological, as so many people wrongly think. On the contrary, when a man and a woman have sex, they connect not only on a physical level but also on a soul level. This means that they also connect emotionally and psychologically, whether they realize it or not.
Interestingly, studies show that the connection that occurs in the sexual act has a physiological component to it as well. During the sexual act, chemical substances in the body—such as dopamine, oxytocin, and vasopressin– are released that create neurochemical changes in the brain. These neurochemical changes cause emotional bonding, also known as limbic bonding, between the man and the woman. This bonding occurs in a sexual relationship whether the man or woman want it to occur or not.
Another way of saying it is that the man and the woman who have sex are glued together emotionally and psychologically whether they want to be glued together or not. Both partners form an attachment whether they want to or not, and both partners are hurt when the sex act is over, whether they know it or not. It is usually the woman who is hurt more because the limbic system in the female brain is larger than the limbic system in the male brain.
So, when a man and a woman decide to have sex “just for the fun of it”, something major is happening on levels far beyond the physical level—something they are unaware of and that will end up hurting them and hurting them for life, if they do not deal with the soul tie.
Why will they be hurt? Because God set a specific boundary for engaging in sex, and that boundary is marriage. Anyone who violates that boundary will be hurt, no doubt about it.
Why did God set marriage as the boundary for having sex? For a number of reasons, one of the chief of which is this very bonding power of the sexual act. When God instituted marriage, He intended that the soul tie be established only between the husband and the wife for their mutual emotional and psychological protection and blessing and for the emotional and psychological protection and blessing of the children who would come from their union.
In short, since the act of sex binds a man and a woman to each other emotionally and psychologically, God wanted to protect both the man and the woman from hurt by permitting the sexual act only in marriage and only between the husband and the wife. Marriage was intended to serve as a protection for both the husband and the wife from outside ungodly soul ties that would hurt them, their marriage, and the children who would come from that marriage.
But like everything else that God created for good and for His good purposes, Satan tries to pervert the sexual relationship for evil and for his evil purposes. This perversion occurs every time a person engages in sex outside of God’s boundaries for sex.
You see, God created the sex act in such a way that it will form a bond between the man and the woman having sex with each other whether the man or the woman want that bond to form or not. This bonding was God’s design and still is God’s design. The fact that people pervert God’s design by engaging in sex outside of marriage—outside of His boundaries for sex–does not negate the law of bonding that God created for the sexual act in the first place.
Moreover, having sex outside of marriage—outside of God’s boundaries for sex—results in opening the door to demonic activity in one’s life. When a person engages in sex outside of God’s boundaries, that person invites demons to enter his or her life during the illicit sexual act and any time afterward. Those demons remain until they are cast out through a process called deliverance ministry or exorcism.
We have seen that a soul tie created by sex outside of marriage is the unlawful tying together of two souls. This unlawful tying together causes spiritual bondage between the two souls for the rest of their lives unless the soul tie is broken through the power of Jesus Christ. Because of this spiritual bondage, the demonic spirits found in one person can transfer to the other person, and vice versa.
Every time you have sex with another person, your soul is tied to that other person’s soul.
So, if a girl has sex with five guys, her soul has been tied to at least five other souls. In most cases, the number of soul ties is even greater since each of the guys may have had multiple sex partners.
Do the math. This means that a girl who engages in premarital sex with one guy can be tied to hundreds of other souls without even knowing it. Yet, all of those other souls are affecting her every single day.
No wonder so many people are suffering so much emotional, psychological, and physical torment! They are in bondage to hundreds of other souls all of whom have demonic forces operating against them. And all of these demonic forces combined are operating against that one person who chose to have sex outside of marriage.
Consider this example. Let’s say a guy sleeps with a girl who is involved in the occult. Afterwards, he begins having nightmares and develops unreasonable fears. This guy, who, before sleeping with the girl was never afraid of anything, is now terrified of everything. Why? The reason is that the demons of the occult in the girl’s soul transferred to the guy’s soul when he slept with her.
Not a pretty picture, is it? Does it make you think twice about having sex outside of marriage?
Soul ties can also be caused by sexual abuse or unhealthful emotional relationships. In such cases, the same Jesus Christ who wants to deliver you from the sin of premarital or extramarital sex will deliver you from the soul ties created through sexual abuse.
Remember this: Sex outside of marriage will destroy your soul. This is the reason that God forbids it. He is not out to keep you from pleasure. He is out to keep you from pain!
In Psalm 23, Jesus promises to restore your soul. Why not let Him do so now?
If you have engaged in sex outside of marriage, there is hope for you. That hope is in Jesus Christ. Only He can free you from the bondage that occurred through your sin. And, do you know what? He wants to free you. You have only to ask Him. Just pray this simple prayer with me now:
Lord Jesus, I am guilty of sexual sin and of having formed ungodly soul ties. I confess my sin to You and ask You to forgive me and to cleanse me. Loose me from these ungodly soul ties as I renounce each one in the power of Your Name. From now on, I yield my life and my body totally to You. Make me what You created me to be. In Your Name I pray and receive by faith. Amen.
If you prayed this simple prayer, please write to me at drmaryann@maryanndiorio.com. I would like to send you a little booklet that will help you get started in your relationship with Jesus Christ. I also encourage you to get yourself a Bible and read it every day, starting in the Gospel of John, which is in the second half of the Bible. Finally, ask the Lord to lead you to the church of His choice for you where you can learn about Him and find fellowship and encouragement with other Christ-Followers.
I would also encourage you to seek out a mature Christ-Follower experienced in exorcism, also known as deliverance ministry, to pray for you. I have listed in the notes below a few resources that may be of help to you.
For additional resources, articles, books, and podcasts to help you grow in your walk with Christ, I invite you to visit my website at maryanndiorio.com. This podcast is found on Apple Podcasts, iHeart Radio, Spotify, Spreaker, Soundcloud, Castbox, Podbean, and Deezer, so I encourage you to subscribe.
If you have been blessed by this message, I would greatly appreciate your sharing it with others. Also, I invite you to become a Winning with the Word patron on Patreon. As a patron you will enjoy special benefits only for patrons. Just go to Patreon.com and search for Winning with the Word to join.
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ADDITIONAL RESOURCES FOR DEALING WITH SOUL TIES:
Books:
Breaking Unhealthy Soul-Ties by Bill and Sue Banks (Affiliate Link)
Healing through Deliverance by Peter Horrobin (Affiliate Link)
Ministries:
HealingRooms.com
Ellel Ministries (USA)
Ellel Ministries (International)
If you think you have ungodly soul ties, consult a pastor at a Bible-believing church.
Now, it’s YOUR turn: How have you dealt with ungodly soul ties? Please leave your response in the Comment Box below. Thank you!
TWEETABLE: “Sex and Soul Ties” by Dr. MaryAnn Diorio (CLICK TO TWEET)
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